The comfort zone

Last Friday night, I had a nightmare…well, a dream. In my dream I was at a tournament and it was almost time for me to go. Sensei walked over and said “You have to give the judges a choice and let them pick your Kata. They can choose from Sieunchin, Seisan, Gojushiho and Chinto, I hope you’re ready.” In my dream I wasn’t ready- I had only practiced Gojushiho leading up to the tournament. I panicked trying to figure where in the ring each one would start. In real life, this is not an unheard of scenario, he did this to Meg Hazel once.

When I woke up the next morning to go to the tournament (in real life) I started thinking, what would I do if he actually did this to me? Would I be ready or would I make a fool of myself in front of my peers…

You see, Gojushiho and Konku have become my comfort zone in real life. Those are the only two Kata I have competed with since 2013.

I told him on the ride to Denver that I had had a bad dream, but that I wasn’t going to tell him what it was until we were on the way home, I didn’t want to give him any ideas.

But I know we think alike, and in truth, I think it is a bad ass thing to do. When we arrived, I went over all four of those Kata, trying to see where each one would start in a ring, which parts need more ‘competition oomph’, if I could actually have four Kata ready…which I think I should be able to…but was it too soon? Could I actually step out of my comfort zone confidently and succeed? Maybe, but I didn’t want to find out that day, lol.

As the tournament progressed, I went about my normal business of cheering for all the kids. During a break I went over and sat with Sensei for a few minutes. He said “What Kata are you doing today?” I answered “Gojushiho, I guess” and he said “What if you do something else…pick any other Kata except Gojushiho, Konku, Empi or Giin, you can do any other one.” So I double checked “I get to pick though right? Not the judges?” And he said no, I could pick, which made me happy. So I chose Chinto…I liked the way the gym floor gripped so I felt like I could pull off 95% of the crane stances.

I went about practicing Chinto for the next half hour until it was my turn…and I did Chinto. I had a lapse of memory at one point and lost my balance at another, but overall, I was pleased. It was more exciting to be out of my comfort zone…

Which got me thinking…why do I tend to stay in my comfort zone? Shouldn’t I step out more often? Yes, but not only me, I think everyone should step out from time to time…because that is where growth happens.

So now my mind is in overdrive…and I am trying to figure out where to go from here. I kind of liked the element of surprise, but it also still frightens me.

But how BAD ASS would it be to let the judges pick from those four Kata like in my dream, not knowing what I would be performing until the moment I was set to go…how bad ass…and how terrifying. How incredibly out of the comfort zone.

I think I would secretly like to start working towards that, but with no promises, because I don’t think I would want this to be a new Jilly rule. But I do think I want to try. I also think it would be good for the kids to see…as long as I can pull it off.

Besides, the comfort zone is for sissys.